Montana Cowboy Family Read online

  Beth’s eyes darkened. For a moment, Sadie thought the girl was softening, and then Beth shrugged away.

  “My ma would not want me to be rude,” she murmured.

  “I’m sure she wouldn’t. I’m also certain she would want you to ask for help if you needed it and I don’t mean only accepting my offer of a home.”

  Beth stiffened. For a brief moment, Sadie thought she might reveal more of what had happened to them. Instead, she grabbed a paring knife. “Do you want me to peel potatoes?”

  “I’d appreciate it.” Logan’s uncle had provided Sadie with pork chops, and, while Beth peeled vegetables, Sadie browned the meat, covered it with brown gravy and put it in the oven to cook.

  Logan and Sammy came inside, Jeannie trotting along beside them.

  Beth took a step toward her little sister.

  Logan’s eyes narrowed and his mouth drew back in a tight line, giving Sadie pause to wonder what had gone on throughout the day. She needed to talk to Logan alone and find out.

  “Children, supper will be a few minutes. Why don’t you go out and play or go for a walk? Mind you, don’t go too far. I’ll call when supper is ready.”

  Beth ushered her sister and brother out the door rather hurriedly, ignoring Jeannie’s protest that she didn’t want to go outside.

  Sadie waited until she could see the children playing at the lumber pile before she turned to Logan. “First, tell me what you found out about their father.”

  Logan sank to the nearest chair and rested his elbows on the table. He pressed his fingertips to his brow and massaged it.

  Sadie’s gaze followed the movement of his fingers—long, strong fingers, yet gentle as she’d discovered when he’d caught her tears. She swallowed hard and informed her longing heart that she did not ache for more of those comforting touches.

  Logan sat up with a deep sigh. “I asked around town. The good news is the blacksmith remembers the man and provided a bit of a description. So we know he’s been around. The bad news is no one else can recall the man except for Uncle George. My uncle says he was here a couple of weeks ago, but the blacksmith is certain it was longer ago than that.” His crooked smile told her he had found the news disappointing. “Their stories vary so greatly I wonder if they are talking about the same man.”

  “I suppose a lot of men go through town or come for supplies. It would be hard for the businesspeople to keep track of everyone.”

  He nodded. “I’d like to go to Wolf Hollow and look around, but I feel I need to stay and keep an eye on the girls.” He rolled his head back and forth as if his neck muscles had knotted. “Not that they seem to appreciate my concern. Or, I should say, Beth doesn’t.”

  “She’s wary. And perhaps with good reason.”

  Those words made Logan lean forward, his expression defensive.

  Before he could offer his argument, she spoke again. “What did they do all day? I kept thinking of them. Beth should be in class, but Jeannie is too young to attend school so Beth needs to be here.” She paused to consider the options and could think of no other solution. “This seems to be the best arrangement for now.” She repeated her question. “What did they do?”

  A faint smile curved his mouth. “Mostly Beth did her best to avoid me and to keep Jeannie away from me. The little one wanted to talk, but she seemed to understand her big sister wouldn’t approve. So I talked.” His grin widened.

  “What did you talk about?” She admitted it was more than curiosity that prompted her question. She wished she’d been a little bird perched on a nearby branch, hearing his every word. She would not try to explain why she cared except there was something about Logan that transcended all her warnings and threatened all the cautionary barriers she had erected in her life. Which, in itself, should be cause for alarm. But if any bells rang, she didn’t hear them and was prepared to ignore them.

  “I told them what it was like growing up with two older brothers and a little sister.” He looked deeply into her eyes and seemed to read her lonely heart.

  She listened hungrily as he told of family ups and downs. How they supported one another through the tough times.

  He grew thoughtful. “Jeannie asked if I had a mama and papa. I told her things about my mother I haven’t thought of in years.”

  “Like what?” She hung on his words. They were a balm to her soul.

  “She said things like, ‘Your family is forever. Take care of each other.’ As boys, we were often rough. But if we hurt one of the others, she would take us aside and say, ‘Treat others like you would want to be treated.’ She’d ask if we would want to be hit or punched in the stomach or have our toy snatched away—whatever unkindness we were guilty of.”

  “Where was your pa?” She’d met him and found him a likable man with a steadiness that his sons mirrored. But had he always been so?

  “Pa was always there for us. He taught us to be men.” Logan talked about the fun of learning to ride, to rope, to take care of the animals. “‘Above all,’ Pa would say, ‘we take care of our womenfolk.’”

  How she wished she’d had siblings. More than that, she’d longed for a loving, supportive family. She could point out that not all families were like the Marshalls, but there seemed no value in doing so. She’d said it already.

  The smell of supper cooking brought her back to her responsibilities, and she hurried to the stove. The potatoes were done and she drained them, as well as the carrots she’d set to cooking earlier. “Would you call the children in?”

  “My privilege.” He opened the door and hollered, “Supper.”

  Her mind stalled. Privilege. The word echoed through her. That’s how family should be viewed. The members should come first, even before business partners. Family should guard and protect those who were part of it. She sucked in overheated air. Too bad not everyone saw it that way.

  Sammy rushed in first, Jeannie trying to keep up. Beth followed more slowly, her expression guarded. She carefully skirted around Logan.

  “Children, would you please set the table?” Sadie watched from the corner of her eye, wondering if Beth would find a way to avoid being near Logan.

  The girl kept carefully to the opposite side of the table as she put the plates around and helped Jeannie with the silverware. Quietly she asked Sammy to put on the cups and fill a pitcher with water.

  The children were a family that took care of one another.

  The knowledge served to increase Sadie’s loneliness. She shifted her gaze to Logan. He watched her. There was no way, she told herself, he could see inside her and read her hurting feelings, but his eyes—so warm and so filled with comfort—made it difficult for her to breathe. She couldn’t think. It took every ounce of mental strength just to jerk her gaze to a spot beyond his shoulder and suck in a deep breath. She dared not let him see what was inside her. If he did, his shock and disgust would know no end.

  She couldn’t allow that to happen even though she wanted nothing so much as to find acceptance and shelter.

  In his arms? Her eyes returned to him and rested on his broad shoulders.

  Why would she think such a thing? It wasn’t that they had anything in common apart from the children.

  It wasn’t as if all his talk of a supportive family could ever include the likes of her.

  It wasn’t as if all the things he cherished could be within her reach.

  Chapter Six

  Logan had gladly accepted Sadie’s invitation to join them for the meal and now sat at the table facing Sadie with the girls on one side and Sammy on the other.

  Sammy talked nonstop about the horse ride. “I’m going to get my own horse. He’s going to be big and black and he’ll buck when I tell him to. But I’ll never fall off because it will be a trick between the two of us.” He slowed and grew serious. “How much does a horse cost? I suppose I’ll have to get a job.” He turned eagerly toward Logan. “I guess you could use a helper. Maybe you’d like a partner.”

  Logan chuckled, his gaze s
hifting from the boy to Sadie, and there it stalled. She and Beth looked at each other. Their looks went on and on, their expression so serious, so full of something he couldn’t interpret, that he longed to ask them what they thought or at least be granted the ability to read their minds. Why were they so guarded, so suspicious? What had brought them to this place, and, more importantly, what would it take to bring them out of it?

  “I could work for you on Saturday,” Sammy said with so much hope that Logan nodded.

  “I ’spect I could use a helper. It would make the work go faster.” He suspected it would have the reverse effect, but he wouldn’t mind if it kept Sammy happy. “Would you like to help me start on some swings and maybe a teeter-totter?”

  The boy almost squirmed off his chair in excitement. “I’m your man.”

  Logan’s grin came from the depths of his heart and, wanting to share his enjoyment of the child’s eagerness, he again looked at Sadie, hoping she and Beth had stopped staring at each other. His wish was rewarded. Sadie grinned at him, obviously sharing his amusement. She said, “Sure hope his eagerness for work lasts for many years.”

  “It will. It will. I’ll work even harder when I get bigger.” Sammy scraped up the last of the food on his plate, determined to grow up as fast as possible.

  “I be big, too.” Jeannie stretched as tall as she could in her chair. “I help, too.”

  Beth favored Logan with a fiery look, wrapped her arm about Jeannie’s shoulders and pulled her close. “You can help me.”

  Jeannie crossed her arms in a defiant gesture. “I wanna help Logan.”

  “Well, you’re too little,” Beth said.

  “I not. Am I?” Jeannie appealed to Logan.

  Logan looked from one sister to the other. The older one so defensive, so protective. He didn’t like to admit Sadie might have some call for her suspicions. What but some unhappy experience would explain Beth’s determined rejection of every offer of friendship? What other reason could there be for shielding her little sister so fiercely? He shifted his attention to Sammy, who watched his sisters with a look Logan could only describe as defiant. Was it a different reaction to the same circumstances?

  There seemed only one way to discover the truth—locate Mr. Weiss and have him answer a few questions. Logan would make certain he answered the hard ones.

  When was he to find the man when he’d told Sammy they’d work together on Saturday? He needed at least half a day to go to Wolf Hollow and ask around.

  “Sammy, you can help me Saturday. You can, too, Jeannie, if Miss Sadie and your sister give permission.” He didn’t look at Beth, knowing refusal would be written all over her face. “I won’t be here until afternoon though. I have an errand to take care of.”

  “Aw. Half the day will be gone by there.”

  “Can’t be helped.” Logan allowed himself to look at Sadie. Her eyes questioned him. He’d pull her aside later and explain his plans.

  Jeannie squirmed away from Beth’s protective arm and leaned closer. “Mr. Logan, are you somebody’s papa?”

  Logan brought his gaze to the child, wondering where this question would lead. “No, I’m not.”

  “Why not?”

  Beth leaned close to Jeannie and told her to hush. Jeannie pointedly ignored her big sister and waited for Logan to answer.

  “’Cause I’m not married.”

  Jeannie studied him long and hard. He could almost hear her thinking. She shifted, glanced from him to Sadie. “Is Miss Sadie married?”

  Logan met Sadie’s gaze, felt a fragility in her look and wondered at its meaning. What had happened in her family to make her this way? He added discovering the reason to his list of things to do.

  Realizing Jeannie waited for his answer, he brought his attention back to her. “No. She’s the teacher.”

  “Oh.” More thinking. “Teachers can’t be mamas?”

  Beth caught Jeannie’s hand and squeezed hard enough to force the little girl to scowl at her. “You ask too many questions.”

  “How else I gonna learn?”

  Beth rolled her eyes.

  Logan chuckled. “Indeed. And the answer to your question is that some districts insist their teacher isn’t married, but we can decide whatever we like here.”

  Jeannie bounced up and down. “Oh goodie. Then why don’t you and Miss—”

  Sadie jumped up from the table so quickly that her chair tipped backward and she grabbed it to steady it. “Who wants some cookies? Logan’s aunt Mary was kind enough to send us some.” Not waiting for an answer, she hurried to the cupboard and filled a plate with Aunt Mary’s famous oatmeal cookies. She returned to the table and stood a moment behind her chair.

  Logan held his breath. Would she sit again or rush off to do something else? He took in her heightened color and rapid breathing. He knew Jeannie had been about to suggest he and Sadie marry. Was the prospect so distasteful to Sadie that it sent her into a flurry of activity?

  She need not worry. She had far too many things she kept hidden. Twice before he’d made the mistake of getting involved with women who were not completely open and honest with him. He didn’t mean to repeat the mistake even with a gal who made his heart push against the walls he’d erected.

  He glanced about the table. These kids deserved a family. And wasn’t Sadie doing her best to provide a temporary one despite her arguments that family wasn’t always a good thing? What did her words mean when her actions proved the opposite?

  Jeannie swallowed a bite of her cookie. Her bottom lip began to quiver and tears slipped down her cheeks. She sucked in a shuddering breath. “Mama, I want Mama.” She choked out a sob, bent her head over her chest, her half-eaten cookie clutched in one hand, and cried.

  Sammy shook his head. “Every night like clockwork she runs out of sweetness.”

  “I’ll take care of her.” Beth lifted the sobbing child and Jeannie pressed her face to her sister’s shoulder.

  Beth took a step toward the bedroom, then turned to Sadie. “I’ll do the dishes after I get her settled.”

  Sadie waved her away. “You look after your sister. That’s far more important.”

  Beth looked ready to argue, but Jeannie’s crying urged her to forgo it for now and she hurried into the other room. Sammy slipped outside before anyone could ask him to help with the dishes.

  It provided Logan with the perfect excuse to depart, as well. He pushed to his feet. “I must be on my way.”

  Sadie followed him to the door. “Good night.”

  Two words? Nothing more? No explanations? “Sadie, don’t be offended by things Jeannie says.”

  Pink returned to her cheeks and she shifted her gaze to a spot behind him. “Of course I’m not. She’s only three.”

  “Exactly. And missing her parents. I will find their father and see that the family is reunited. Those children deserve it.”

  The pink in her cheeks intensified. Her eyes flashed. “What those children deserve is a safe home.”

  “I’m not arguing against that.”

  She pressed her lips together and her eyes darkened. A shiver touched her shoulders. She stiffened. Her nostrils flared.

  “Sadie, what happened to make you see family as so…?” He couldn’t even think how to describe her reactions. “So undesirable?”

  She blinked. Her eyes had grown expressionless.

  He stared. It was if she had disappeared behind a thick wall. Without thinking he reached for her, wanting to bring her back, wanting to comfort, to offer a healthy portion of the love his family had provided all his life. He touched her shoulder, felt her stiffen.

  “I—” She swallowed loudly.

  Please tell me. Please let me help.

  She lifted her chin, giving him a look so cold that ice crystals raced along his veins. She stepped back, forcing him to lower his arm to his side.

  “What makes you think anything happened?”

  “Only your blatant defensiveness.”

  “You’re
imagining things. Perhaps your privileged way of life makes you judge those of us who haven’t had the same good fortune. Why do you refuse to believe that not all families are a wonderful thing?”

  Her accusation made him appear naive and overly idealistic. “I don’t refuse. I’m simply not ready to judge until I find Mr. Weiss and give him a chance to explain what’s going on.”

  “You do that.”

  “I plan to. That’s what my Saturday morning errand is. I’m going to go to Wolf Hollow and look around. Until I find him, I will be here every day to work on the schoolroom and keep an eye on the girls while you teach. I’ll spend every other moment looking for Mr. Weiss.” He decided to shift the topic in the hopes of erasing the glittering hardness from her eyes. “Soon you’ll be able to teach right next door to your living quarters.”

  “I’m looking forward to the time I can both teach and supervise Beth and Jeannie.”

  Her words burned.

  “Goodbye.” He jammed his hat on his head, spun about and strode toward his horse. Her meaning couldn’t have been clearer. At such time, he would no longer be needed.

  Or welcomed?

  *

  Sadie leaned on the door, willing her breathing to return to normal, willing her heart to calmness…without great success. What happened in my family? They ignored my pain. They chose someone else above me. They made me feel I was to blame. Made me feel dirty. Her insides twisted and coiled. Her throat grew tight. Tears pressed against the back of her eyes. If only she could tell someone how much their choices had hurt her. How, even now, she longed for arms of comfort, words of acceptance and healing, even though she knew better than to expect them.

  She straightened, faced the room. Thankfully, the girls were still in the bedroom and Sammy was outside.

  Her gaze fell on the remains of the meal. A task to do. Just what she needed. She put one foot in front of the other. Reached the table and took one dirty dish after the other and carried it to the cupboard. She carefully put away the uneaten cookies. With measured slowness, she filled the basin with hot water and washed each dish with meticulous care. Step by step, action by action, her life returned to normal.