The Cowboy's Ready-Made Family Page 6

  “You’re good with the children,” she added when she realized he had nothing to say.

  Her comment eased his stubborn mind. “Even though I was young at the time, I remember my ma explaining to one of the cowboys why she allowed her young sons to explore so freely.” At the memory a smile started in his heart. “She said we’d learn best by trying things and seeing if they worked or not. Like the time I tried to rope a bull. I got the rope over his head and he jerked me off the fence. I hung on. I’m not sure what I thought I’d do. The bull dragged me along, bumping across every rock and lump in the ground. But I wouldn’t let go. Might still be there if Pa hadn’t rode up. He grabbed me. Had to pry my hands open to release the rope.” He chuckled.

  Susanne looked shocked. “Were you hurt?”

  He looked at the palms of his hands as if checking for the rope burns and rubbed his stomach, remembering the bruises. “Nothing serious. You know what I said to Pa?”

  “You thanked him for rescuing you?”

  “Nope. I said, ‘Guess I won’t do that again.’” He leaned back on his heels, the memory ripe with so many good things. His pa’s concern, his ma’s pride in how hard he tried and the knowledge that they both cared about him in their different ways.

  She laughed. “I would hope not.”

  They returned to putting seeds in the ground. After the beets, beans and corn were planted, Susanne said, “I’ll have to do the carrot seeds. They need to be sprinkled carefully.”

  The children stood to one side, watching. Robbie shoved Frank hard enough to make him fall down. Janie kicked at the dirt sending up puffs of dust.

  “Stop doing that!” Liz said.

  The children were getting restless. “Let’s do potatoes,” Tanner told them. “They’re fun.”

  “Yeah!” Robbie yelled. He ran to the bucket holding the eyes.

  “Whoa, there.” Susanne ran after him to save the potato eyes. Her bonnet fell down her back and her brown skirts flicked back and forth with each step. Her laughter filled the air as she caught up to Robbie and swung him off his feet. “What’s your rush?”

  Tanner leaned on his hoe and enjoyed the scene.

  “Tanner said it was fun.”

  She set him down. “And so it shall be.”

  Tanner’s inside warmed as he watched the pair laughing together.

  Susanne found tin cans for each of the children and divvied the potatoes among them. They returned to his side where he waited with the hoe.

  “Wait one minute,” Susanne said, and raced away.

  Tanner again admired the view.

  “Where’s she going?” Liz demanded.

  “I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out when she gets back.” For his part, he was content to watch.

  She ducked into the barn and he heard a clatter come from inside. Had she fallen over some of the farm implements strewn about? He started to toss the hoe aside so he could go after her when she marched out, triumphantly carrying another hoe.

  “Let’s work in teams,” she said as she reached the garden. “That way the work will go twice as fast. Who wants to be on my team?”

  To Tanner’s utter amazement, all four said they wanted to be on his.

  Susanne tossed one hand in the air in what he hoped meant surprise. A part of his mind worried she might be offended. “You’re going to make me plant by myself? Does that seem fair?”

  “I’ll help you,” Liz said, and went to her aunt’s side.

  Tanner edged backward. He had no desire to come between Susanne and her charges. But perhaps he could offer a solution. “Tell you what.” He addressed the children. “We’ll make teams and plant one row then make new teams for the next row. Agreed?”

  They nodded.

  “Liz and Robbie are on your aunt’s team for the first row. Frank and Janie are on mine.”

  The children sorted themselves out and got into place at the end of the first two rows. Susanne and her team beside Tanner and his team.

  He tried not to be aware of her. Not to feel her elbow bump him. Not to want to close his eyes and breathe in her presence. He cleared his throat. “Ready?”

  “Yes!” they chorused.

  He secretly smiled at Susanne’s eager participation.

  “On your mark. Get set. Go.” He dug a hole, one of the children dropped in an eye. He scooped the dirt over it. He dug another hole. The other child dropped in an eye and Tanner covered it. Beside him, Susanne did the same thing. He kept himself to a slow, steady pace so they worked side by side.

  They reached the end and turned about. Liz and Frank traded places and they planted two more rows. At the end, Janie and Robbie traded places.

  All too soon they were done and the six of them stood back and admired their work. He wouldn’t mind staying there the rest of the afternoon, but that was impossible.

  “What’s next?” he asked.

  “Just lettuce and small stuff. I’ll finish up. I want to plant some flowers, too.” Her voice grew dreamy.

  He stole a look at her. She looked at the garden, a slight smile on her lips as if she saw it in full bloom.

  She held out her hands to draw the children close. “Let’s thank God for the garden and ask Him to bless it.” She raised her eyebrows as she looked at Tanner.

  He shook his head and backed up. “This is your garden.”

  She seemed to understand and, with the children clustered about her, she bowed her head. The children followed her example.

  He snatched his hat off, at the same time smiling at how Janie held her hands together in prayer.

  “Dear Heavenly Father,” Susanne said in a reverent yet trusting tone. “Thank You that our garden is planted. Bless it with rain and sunshine. Provide us with food from the ground. Thank You that You hear our prayers and always, always meet our needs and take care of us. Amen.”

  For a moment they remained huddled together, then the children ran to play.

  He didn’t put his hat back on, feeling as if he stood on holy ground.

  She faced him, a gentle smile on her lips. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ve been worried about the garden since the snow melted. I know God will take care of me, provide for our needs, but it’s easier to trust when I see things happening.”

  He nodded, not knowing how to respond. Then words escaped him. “It’s difficult to trust when you can’t see God or know if He’s listening.”

  Her eyes widened. “He’s always listening. He’s always near. We have His promise and I have but to look about to see His presence in all that He’s created.”

  Tanner needed proof in this aspect of his life as he did in every aspect. When he didn’t respond she smiled though her eyes remained guarded.

  “Anyway, thanks again for your help. You made it fun for the children.”

  “It’s the way I was raised. Maisie always says there’s no point in looking at work as drudgery when it can as easily be joyful.” He had to clear up something that lingered at the back of his mind. “I hope you weren’t upset because the children all wanted to be on my team.” He had no desire to earn her disfavor. On the heels of that thought came another so foreign it was surely a mistake. He’d enjoyed working with her and had allowed himself to believe she didn’t mind working with him. He knew it couldn’t be so. He’d known most of his life both on the ranch and off that he was neither white nor Indian. Some of the cowboys called him injun and tormented him. Or at least they had until Tanner got strong enough they feared crossing him.

  In town—well, he wasn’t going to dwell on the many times he’d been shunned at a social event or young ladies refused to sit by him or even crossed the street to avoid him.

  It was enough to enjoy one sunny afternoon when he didn’t feel that disapproval. He wasn’t in a hurry to end it, but he must b
efore she did.

  He moved away six feet, paused to speak his piece. “Tomorrow I’ll return to take care of plowing the field for the crop. I won’t bother you again.”

  * * *

  Susanne stared after him as he rode from the yard. It seemed he couldn’t wait to get away. Her cheeks warmed. Had she said too much? Given him reason to think she expected him to be ready and willing to take care of chores other than the crop? But she wanted nothing from him other than the fulfillment of their agreement.

  She returned to the garden, planted a patch of lettuce and then marked out several round areas for flowers next to the fence so she could enjoy them from the kitchen window.

  Maybe Tanner had a young lady he was interested in. That would explain his eagerness to let Susanne know he would be avoiding her. The young lady should consider herself fortunate. Tanner would certainly make a good husband and father if the way he’d acted this afternoon was any indication.

  She’d enjoyed the afternoon, perhaps more than she had a right to. But the lessons learned from Aunt Ada had not been in vain. Every pleasant moment ended poorly, so she wasn’t surprised that Tanner had suddenly withdrawn and made it clear he wanted to avoid her in the future. However, she would not let it ruin her day. Another Aunt Ada lesson.

  She finished her planting, put away the tools and supplies then went out to the pasture to get the cow.

  The walk gave her time to settle her thoughts and bring them back to where they belonged. God, I’m trying to be grateful that Tanner seems to be the answer to my prayer for help, but in truth, I’m perhaps not as grateful as I should be. I’m sure You understand how cautious I am about this. You are the only one I can count on. You love me unconditionally. You will never leave me or forsake me.

  Since God could read her thoughts there was no point in being less than honest, so she admitted it had been fun working alongside Tanner. She even admitted she sometimes had yearnings for something more in her life. Those yearnings would not be given a name. They must be denied. Her job was to raise the children and do it in a way that they would never feel they were a burden to her. She’d never put them in a position of obligation.

  She’d tell Tanner she meant to end their agreement but then how could she get the crop in on her own? Besides, he already had his horses there.

  She couldn’t tell him not to come. But she’d make certain to accept nothing more from him.

  She put the cow in the barn, then as she headed for the house she noticed the children peering through the bars of the corrals watching the horses. “Please stay away from the horses.”

  Frank faced her. “We’re only looking. No harm in that, is there? We’re safe on the outside of the corrals. After all, Pa built them solid as a rock.”

  To suggest otherwise would be too close to inviting all-out rebellion. “So long as you stay outside the fence.”

  “Of course, we will.” Frank’s look accused her of foolishness.

  “Liz, do you want to help make soup?”

  Liz followed her. Several yards behind, Janie trudged after her sister, her bottom lip quivering.

  Susanne knelt to hug her little niece. “What’s wrong?”

  “He left without saying goodbye.”

  Susanne knew she meant Tanner. She also understood how difficult it was for Janie to watch people leave. She’d lost her mother and father and it had created a need to hold on to people. She hugged the child tighter. “Sweetie, he’s only coming to put in the crop.”

  “And work with his horses,” Liz added, as if that made a world of difference.

  How could she make them understand it was a temporary arrangement? Already the child had grown to see Tanner as part of her life. Anything she said would likely bring a fresh onslaught of tears. “Janie, I’m not going anywhere, nor are your brothers and sister.”

  The child clung to Susanne, silent sobs shaking her. Tears pooled in Susanne’s eyes, and she again vowed that she would provide a permanent home for these children and protect them from hurt. How was she to do that if Tanner hung about? Already they expected more from him than they should.

  After a bit, Janie shuddered and tipped her head back to look at Susanne. “I love you, Auntie.”

  Susanne kissed the soft cheeks. “I love you, too.” She reached for Liz’s hand. “You, too.”

  “What about Robbie and Frank?” Janie asked.

  “I love them, too.”

  Satisfied, Janie allowed Susanne to get to her feet and, holding the girls’ hands, she continued to the house. As she worked with them preparing the soup and biscuits, she often glanced out the window to the garden and smiled to see it planted. Soon they would have fresh vegetables and she’d enjoy the flowers she’d planted.

  And she owed Tanner nothing. He had the use of the corrals in exchange for his help.

  Her smile deepened. Once the crop was in the ground, she could manage on her own.

  * * *

  When they heard Tanner ride into the yard the next day, Frank and Robbie slipped out the door before she could stop them.

  “I want to go, too,” Janie said, tears pooling in her eyes when Susanne halted her.

  “Sweetie, he’s working with a big horse. We need to stay out of his way.”

  Tears trickled silently down the child’s cheeks.

  Susanne’s heart bled a little. “Why don’t I put a chair by the window and you can watch from there?”

  Janie nodded and waited for Susanne to position a chair in place, then stood on it, her nose pressed to the window.

  Susanne returned to cleaning the kitchen. She’d promised herself she would do more than wash the dishes and wipe the table. As she worked, she stole glances out the window as Tanner hitched Pat to the plow and headed for the field. Not once did he look in her direction. Not that she expected him to. He’d been abundantly clear that he would be avoiding her. Which was exactly what she wanted.

  She sighed, then, realizing Liz watched her, she stretched as if needing a change of position.

  What she needed was—

  She didn’t know. Wouldn’t say. Because God would provide what she needed. And she must not expect to get everything she wanted.

  “Why don’t you clean the lamp chimneys?” she suggested to the older girl.

  Liz nodded.

  Susanne prepared a basin of warm soapy water and gathered all the chimneys and put them on a cloth in the middle of the table.

  She left Liz with the task, filled a bucket with hot water and got down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor. She rose halfway through to change the water. How could she have let the floor get so dirty?

  Liz polished a glass chimney, but the chair where Janie had stood was now empty. Susanne glanced about. “Did Janie go to her bedroom?”

  “She went outside.”

  Susanne’s heart thudded against her chest. Surely she wouldn’t—

  She dashed outside. “Janie, where are you?”

  There was no reply, though Robbie and Frank leaned back from watching the horses through the fence and looked about.

  Susanne scanned the yard, looking up into the tree branches where Janie often went, but there was no sign of the child. She went into the yard where she could see farther afield. Her gaze went reluctantly, fearfully to the field where Tanner worked and she screamed. “Janie.”

  Tanner would never hear or see the little girl sitting on the ground just feet ahead of the horse.

  Chapter Five

  “Giddyap,” Tanner called, but old Pat shook his head and refused to move. Odd. The horse had been placid and cooperative until now. Tanner hollered again and flicked the reins.

  Old Pat dug in his hooves and stood immobile.

  Thinking perhaps his harness rubbed wrong, Tanner dropped the reins and walke
d to Pat’s head. In two strides, his heart hit the roof of his mouth and he ground to an abrupt halt.

  “Janie, what are you doing?” How had she gotten there without him seeing? She must have slipped past while his attention had been on driving the horse.

  His knees wobbled at the thought of what might have happened if Pat wasn’t so wise. He patted the horse. “Good boy.” Then Tanner squatted in front of Janie. Her face was streaked with tears and dust. He pulled out his handkerchief and wiped her cheeks dry and somewhat clean.

  “What’s the problem, little one?”

  “You...you...you never said hello. Or goodbye. Don’t you like me?” A tear spilled from each eye.

  “I like you fine.” It hurt clear through to think his desire to avoid the family had been misinterpreted by this child. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. From now on I’ll remember to say hello and goodbye. Okay?”

  She nodded.

  He held out his arms and she came to him and hugged him about the neck, practically choking him, not that he’d complain. It felt too good.

  “Janie!” Susanne raced across the field.

  Tanner caught his breath, expecting her to trip and fall any moment. At the same time, he set Janie aside. He shouldn’t have hugged her, but he didn’t regret it. The little girl needed his reassurance and he was prepared to give it, even if it would lead to being reminded of his place.

  Susanne reached them, dropped to her knees in the dirt and pulled the child into her arms, rocking back and forth. “Shh, shh, shh,” she said over and over though no one made any other sound.

  After several minutes, she held Janie at arm’s length. “You scared me out of ten years. I thought—” She swallowed loudly and hugged the child again then pushed to her feet. “Off you go to your brothers.”

  The boys stood at the end of the field, their eyes wide.

  Janie plodded to them and the three returned to the yard.

  Now Susanne would speak her mind. Tanner prepared for the dressing-down he expected.