Montana Cowboy Family Page 6
In the evening light coming through the windows, Logan could see Sadie’s expression better.
She scrubbed her lips together and looked thoughtful. “Does she waken often like that?” she asked Beth.
Beth shrugged. “She’ll be okay once I’m beside her.”
That didn’t really answer Sadie’s question and Sadie shifted her gaze to Logan, seeking guidance.
He gave what he hoped she’d see as an encouraging smile. “Everything is strange to her right now.”
“I guess that’s so.” Sadie sounded relieved.
“I could stay a little longer if you like.” Would she welcome his offer or see it as interference?
He didn’t have to guess Beth’s feelings. She glowered at him.
“I said she’ll be fine,” she said. “I could go to bed with her right now, if you’re worried.”
Sammy laughed. “I’m not going to bed so early.”
“We’ll be fine,” Sadie’s words were firm, full of conviction.
Logan looked about. He could find no reason to delay his departure. “I best get home.”
Sammy, who had crawled up to sit beside Beth on the cot, jumped to his feet. “You’re leaving? Who will protect us?”
Logan’s insides twisted. Why did the boy think he needed protection? He’d certainly had none out in that awful shack. “You’re safe here. No one will bother you.”
Sammy looked at the windows and the doors, his mouth working. “But what if they do?”
“I’ll ask my uncle to watch out for you. Will that help?”
Sammy gave Logan some serious study. His chest rose and fell more rapidly than normal. “He can’t see us all the time.”
Logan looked at Sadie, saw her surprise and concern…and something more—a slight narrowing of her eyes as if she read something sinister in Sammy’s fears.
He looked at Beth. She watched with an impassive expression, not willing to trust anyone to share Sammy’s concerns.
“Why can’t you stay?” Sammy asked.
“My family will be worried if I don’t go home. Besides, I promised my grandfather to help him find some books.” No one else was available to take care of the old man’s needs. Besides, Grandfather asked only Logan for such favors. He hated to ask at all, but Logan went out of his way to see that Grandfather had everything he needed. This morning he had bemoaned the fact he couldn’t reach the books on the upper shelves and said he was getting short of reading material.
Logan had promised that as soon as he finished in town, he would arrange the shelves so Grandfather could reach his books.
“I tell you what. I’ll go get Miss Sadie’s school bell. If you need help, you ring it really hard and Uncle George will come running.” He’d alert a few close neighbors, as well. “How’s that?” And first thing tomorrow he would construct a drop bar to secure the door.
Sammy seemed to slip a mask over his feelings. “Yeah, sure. You’re right. We’ll be fine.”
Which, Logan understood, meant Sammy wouldn’t be expecting any help from Logan. “I’ll be back tomorrow and make sure you are all safe and sound.” He was more than half tempted to move into the schoolroom so he could keep an eye on them day and night, but he could just hear all the ladies in town whispering that Logan Marshall was back to his wayward ways, though he failed to see how he was to blame for the actions of the girls he’d courted. No, for both his sake and Sadie’s, he wouldn’t set up quarters in the classroom.
He trotted across the street, retrieved the school bell from the back room of the store and took it to Sadie.
Still, he hesitated about leaving them. Three frightened children were a big responsibility.
“Walk me to the wagon,” he said to Sadie.
Her resistance was so fleeting he might have persuaded himself he hadn’t seen it. Then she nodded and followed him outside.
“Are you going to be okay with them?”
She bristled. “Of course I am.”
“I expect the first night will be the worst.”
“To be honest, I’m more concerned about tomorrow when I have to leave the girls to teach.” She looked back at her living quarters. “They are all so afraid.”
He heard the hard note in her voice and knew she blamed the father for the children’s fears. “They have lots of reasons to be frightened. The death of their mother, their father missing, being alone out there, and now being here with people who are strangers to them.”
“Not to mention the bruises on Sammy’s back.”
It wasn’t something he could deny, given the evidence, but neither was he about to blame a missing father. But then who did he blame? “I’ll be back before you have to leave, so the girls won’t be alone and defenseless.” He didn’t know why he’d added the final word and wished he hadn’t when Sadie spun about to face him. He’d only been thinking of Sammy’s concerns—be they real or the fears of children who had experienced too many losses.
“You think they might have need of protection?”
“Don’t all children?”
Her eyes darkened to the color of old pines. Her lips trembled and then she pressed them together and wrapped her arms across her chest in a move so self-protective that he instinctively reached for her, but at the look on her face, he lowered his arms, instead.
She shuddered.
From the thought of him touching her or because of something she remembered? He couldn’t say, but neither could he leave her without knowing she was okay. Ignoring the idea that she might object to his forwardness, wanting only to make sure she knew he was concerned about her and the children, he cupped one hand to her shoulder. He knew he’d done the right thing when she leaned into his palm. “Sadie, I’ll stay if you need me to. I can sleep in the schoolroom, or over at Uncle George’s. Or even under the stars.”
She glanced past him to the pile of lumber at the back of the yard. For the space of a heartbeat, he thought she’d ask him to stay, then she drew in a long breath.
“We’ll be fine, though I would feel better leaving them in the morning if I knew you were here.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll be here.” He hesitated, still not wanting to leave.
She stepped away from him, forcing him to lower his arm to his side. “Goodbye, then. And thank you for your help.”
“Don’t forget we’re partners in this.” He waited for her to acknowledge his statement.
“Very well.”
“Goodbye for now. I’ll see you in the morning.” He forced himself to climb into the wagon and flick the reins. He turned for one last look before he rode out of sight.
Chapter Four
Sadie waved as Logan drove away. With the school bell clutched to her chest she felt a little like Sammy. Who was going to keep them all safe? Not that she feared an intruder. The danger that concerned her would come in the form of a man who thought he had the right to walk in like he belonged. No one would be suspicious of him until it was too late. And then many would still see him as a friend or partner. She shook her head, realizing she was thinking of her past, not her present.
Logan had said they were partners in caring for the children. She wished he’d used any other word than the one that made her feel dirty inside and out, her heart clenching with a sense of abandonment.
God, help me forget my past and focus on my future. Help me know what these children need. She went back inside and set the bell in the middle of the table.
“Miss Sadie?” Beth’s voice carried a note of caution that Sadie wished she could erase. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help clean up the kitchen. Next time leave the dishes, and I’ll do them after Jeannie has settled.”
Oh, Sadie ached at such an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and it deepened her suspicions regarding the family. Could it be that Beth strove to avoid outbursts by taking care of every detail? “Beth, my dear, what you did was far more important than dishes.”
Beth’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
Beth nodded. “Yes, miss.”
“Besides, there was plenty of help.”
“I dried,” Sammy said with some disgust. “Logan made me.”
“That’s good.” The worried furrow in Beth’s forehead disappeared.
Sadie felt the muscles in her own forehead relax. “I need to prepare lessons for tomorrow.”
Sammy looked about the small room. “What’re we gonna do?”
“You could work on your sums. You need the practice.”
“Aw. No fair having to live with the teacher.”
Sadie laughed. “I expect it has advantages as well as disadvantages.”
Sammy’s look demanded to know what the advantages would be but, before he could speak, Beth intercepted.
“I’ll help him.” She sat at the table and tipped her head at Sammy to indicate he should join her.
As slowly as possible, Sammy shuffled the three feet to the chair beside Beth.
Sadie handed them a work sheet. It would give her a chance to observe Beth and assess what level of education she had received.
It was soon apparent that Beth had the basic skills necessary for math. Tomorrow, Sadie would give a reading assignment so she could judge her reading ability.
Sammy finished and grew restless. Beth shushed him several times even though he made little noise. Again, Sadie wondered if the girl wasn’t overly cautious.
“Can I go out and play?” Sammy asked.
“Certainly. Don’t go far. It will soon be bedtime.” She looked to Beth. “What time do both of you go to bed?”
Beth glanced at the clock. It showed eight. “It’s about time.”
Sammy was out the door before either of them could inform him he must stay.
Again, Sadie looked to Beth for direction.
Beth watched her, seeking a clue as to Sadie’s response. Again, that guarded cautiousness.
“Should I call him back?” Sadie asked.
Beth shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt him to run off some energy so he’ll sleep better.”
“What about you? Would you like to go out and play?”
Beth blinked, and blinked again. “Play?”
“Perhaps go for a walk? Enjoy some fresh air?”
Beth’s gaze darted to the window. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. She jerked her attention from the window to the bedroom door. Her fingers bunched into tight fists. “I better stay in case Jeannie wakes up.”
“That’s fine. You do whatever you think is best.”
Beth looked at her hands, seemed to realize how tightly she squeezed her fingers and hid them under the table.
Sadie could not let the moment pass without saying something. “Beth, I can tell you’re afraid—” At the way Beth’s eyes flared, Sadie moderated her speech. “Or worried. But I promise you, you are safe here. I’ll make sure of it. So will Logan.”
Beth watched Sadie steadily, giving no hint as to how she felt about Sadie’s words.
Sadie waited.
Finally Beth spoke. “He isn’t even here.”
Sadie nodded. “But he did bring us the bell.” She wondered if Beth would understand it was a little joke and was pleased when the girl grinned.
“Could you throw it hard enough to knock out an intruder?”
Sadie chuckled. “I might be better off to outrun one.”
Beth’s hands rested on the table and she picked at a thumbnail, then she bolted from the table. “I should call Sammy in.” She went to the door and called her brother.
Sammy came, though he made it clear that he’d had other plans. “Tomorrow I am going to make a fort.”
“Please ask Logan before you take any of his wood,” Sadie said. “Wash up and get ready for bed.” She dug a little shirt from the box of clothes. “You can wear this for the night.” Changing clothes would give her a chance to get a good look at his back.
He washed at the basin of water she’d prepared then sat on the edge of his cot. “I’m a boy and you’re a girl. I’m not getting undressed in front of you.”
How was she to see his back if he refused to take his shirt off in front of her?
Beth sighed. “Sometimes he gets like this. Sammy, go to bed. I’m going now.” She headed for the bedroom door.
Sadie hesitated, then took the lamp and followed her. She paused at the doorway. “Sammy, have a good night. Call if you need anything. Good night.”
“’Night, teacher.”
Beth slipped under the covers beside her sleeping little sister as Sadie set the lamp of the small table between the beds. Conscious of a pair of eyes watching, she turned her back and slipped from her clothes, hanging them on the nearby hooks. She pulled a simple cotton nightdress over her head, loosened her hair and began to brush it slowly and methodically. Should she hurry her bedtime routine or adjust it? Something Aunt Sarah said, came to mind.
Begin as you wish to continue.
Good advice. She finished brushing her hair and braided it. She took her Bible and sat on the edge of her bed. “I always read a few verses before I go to sleep. I hope it doesn’t disturb you.”
“Not at all.”
Sadie knew Beth watched her, but she could not make out her expression in the low light. She opened her Bible and read a Psalm. “‘Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thy heart.’”
Thank You, Lord, for this word of encouragement. I trust You to guide and strengthen me on this unfamiliar journey.
“Miss, can I ask you a question?”
“Yes, of course. Anything you want.”
“How do you know if he’s a good guy?”
Sadie knew the girl meant Logan, and also a whole lot more. Like how would she know when, or if, it was safe to trust a man. The question reverberated through Sadie’s insides. She’d trusted Father’s partner. The whole family had. Learning he was not what she believed had shattered her ability to trust easily, and yet she trusted Logan. Why? She had to understand so she could answer Beth. “I wasn’t sure at first that I could, but there’s something about him. Perhaps it’s his dedication to what he believes in.”
“Like what?” Beth’s voice ached with the need to know.
“Like family. He strongly believes in the value of family and does everything in his power to protect it.” She might disagree with his stance but, as she said to Beth, his loyalty to his belief made it easier to trust him. “Plus, he’s willing to help others and he admits his mistakes.”
“Is that enough?”
“Beth, my dear, I understand your caution, and it isn’t a bad thing so long as you don’t allow it to shut you off from other people.”
The lamplight allowed Sadie to see the girl watching her, searching for understanding and perhaps a whole lot more. It made Sadie feel so inadequate. She knew children only in the classroom setting. Not in a family setting. That was Logan’s field of expertise.
And Logan had gone out to the ranch…to his family. They would always come first in his mind, and she supposed that was how it should be even if it had been quite different for her.
Their experiences with family would always be a barrier between them. She could deal with that. Her first concern was protecting these children. She could manage on her own. Let Logan concern himself with those at the ranch.
The words she’d so recently spoken to Beth echoed in her head. Don’t allow your caution to cause you to shut other people out.
Sadie did that. She knew she did. And she wasn’t sure she could change.
Though, she admitted with a little smile as she climbed into bed and turned off the lamp, Logan had succeeded in breaking down some of her barriers without even trying. Perhaps without even caring if he did or not.
She turned on her side and tried to ignore the ache that sucked at her heart.
*
Logan was anxious to head for tow
n first thing after breakfast, but as he was about to leave, a crash came from the sitting room He rushed in to see if Grandfather was okay. The older man had fallen trying to rearrange the chairs in the sitting room to better suit him. The other Marshall men had already left and Annie had gone out to get the eggs, so Logan stayed to help the old man to his feet and then moved the chairs to Grandfather’s liking.
“Don’t be doing anything foolish while I’m gone,” he’d warned the old man.
“Pshaw. You don’t need to worry about me. Better you think about that little schoolteacher and those kids. She’ll be needing all the help you can give. If there’s anything she needs, you just let us know.”
“I’ll do that, though the whole works of them are mighty independent.” It was more like guarded, but he wasn’t going to get into that discussion with his grandfather.
“I like that little Miss Sadie. Have since they came out here that first day they arrived in town.”
Logan knew he meant the doctor and his daughter and Isabelle, as well as Sadie. He and Conner had not been in attendance. “I found her a little shy.” He didn’t add that he no longer saw her as shy. Stubborn, yes, and wounded. He hadn’t planned to use that word, but it fit her. He wondered who had hurt her.
“She’s a sweet gal and don’t you be overlooking that fact.”
Logan tilted his head and considered his grandfather. “What are you saying?”
“Boy, you know what I mean.”
Logan figured he probably did, but he wasn’t going to admit it. His grandfather had a reputation as a matchmaker. “She’s devoted to her teaching.”
“Not so devoted she hasn’t taken on a family, and I see her fitting the role perfectly. But—” Grandfather shook his gnarly finger at Logan. “You’re as gun-shy around women as a green colt.”
“With good reason.”
“A few bad apples don’t mean you can’t ever enjoy apple pie again.”
Logan snorted. “I like apple pie just fine.” He finished adjusting Grandfather’s things so they were within easy reach. “Now I have to get to town.”
“I wasn’t talking about pies.” Grandfather’s words followed him out the door.
Logan knew that but dismissed the old man’s words as he settled into the saddle. He didn’t normally gallop the four miles from the ranch to Bella Creek, but he wanted to get to town in time to talk to Sadie before she left for school.