Dakota Father Page 6

  Sudden guilt dried her mouth. She’d promised to marry Ted and yet here she stood with her heart pounding, her pulse racing at the sight of another man.

  Hot regrets at her foolishness made it easy to turn her attention to Burke’s question. “She’s very fond of it. Lena made it for her just before she got ill. In fact, she put the finishing touches on it when she was almost too weak to work.”

  “That makes it extra special.” His voice held a rough note as if his throat threatened to close off, which only made Jenny forget her resolve to keep her thoughts on practical things. A man who made room for emotions, who honored the effort that went into creating a pretty doll, touched a chord deep inside Jenny, making her want to laugh and cry at the same time.

  Burke cleared his throat. “I better get back to the chores.”

  Jenny nodded and turned to Paquette. “What can I do to help?” She didn’t look back until she heard the door close and Burke’s boots thud on the veranda floor.

  “You not work. You company.” Paquette watched Jenny without looking directly at her. She’d refused help before. Suggested Jenny expected to be waited on. Jenny realized Paquette was somehow testing her.

  “I’m not company. I’m only here on an errand. What kind of person would I be if I sat around instead of helping?” She rubbed her hands together. “Do you want me to fry the bacon?”

  Paquette moved to one side, allowing Jenny to stand at the stove. The fat spattered. “Oh, I should have brought an apron.”

  Paquette reached under the cupboard and brought out a big apron made from white flour sacking but decorated with a red and gold geometric pattern. “Wear dis, you.”

  “Thank you.” Jenny examined the design. “This is beautiful. Did you do it?”

  “I learn from ma mere. She use beads and quills. I use…” She sought for a word. “From plants.”

  “Dyes?”

  “Oui.”

  Jenny hesitated. “It’s too nice to use for frying bacon.”

  Paquette laughed, a merry sound unlike the usual chortle. “It can wash.”

  So Jenny reluctantly donned the apron feeling she had stepped into another world, one full of adventure and excitement, bold cowboys and women with strange accents. She was dangerously close to stepping over a line she had firmly drawn for herself, one forbidding her to follow wayward paths, yet she couldn’t keep back a smile as she turned the meat.

  A few minutes later the men trooped in for breakfast. Jenny had the table set, the bacon fried, the bread sliced and piled high. She’d made coffee under Paquette’s guidance while the other woman fried potatoes and eggs.

  Jenny had thought of claiming a place at Paquette’s side. After all, didn’t she need to be available to help the woman? But she couldn’t make herself do so. No matter where she sat, she would be aware of Burke with every beat of her heart and every breath she sucked into her tight lungs. Sitting next to him would enable her to encourage a friendship between him and Meggie and so she settled in the place she’d sat the night before.

  Again the men reached for food as soon as everyone sat. Paquette cleared her throat. Everyone stopped, suddenly remembering Jenny’s request for grace.

  “Who’s going to pray this morning?” Burke asked.

  Dug shook his head. “I did it last night. It’s someone else’s turn.”

  The others mumbled.

  Amused at how this was like a bunch of young boys arguing about whose turn it was, Jenny ducked her head to hide her smile.

  Mac sighed loudly. “I’ll say the words rather than starve to death.”

  Jenny snorted as she tried to contain her laughter.

  Mac, beside her, grunted. “I know how to pray. Me old mam taught me.” He bowed his head and murmured, “May God be with you and bless you. May you see your children’s children. May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings. May you know nothing but happiness from this day forward. Amen.” He sucked in air like he had forgotten to breathe throughout the recitation. “Pass the bacon, please.”

  Jenny stared. It was the most unusual grace she’d ever heard. “That was beautiful.” God’s blessing. Children’s children. Happiness. No doubt what they all wanted.

  She couldn’t meet Burke’s eyes even though she felt him watching her. She didn’t want him to see the ache she knew would be evident. Didn’t want to acknowledge it. God’s blessing required obeying her parents. Honor thy father and mother that thy days on the earth might be long. Sometimes it was hard to quench her rebellious spirit. Remembering how often she’d failed to do so and the near disastrous consequences of one such time, she prayed for a submissive spirit.

  The meal was almost over. She had to begin implementing her plans. Her heart had settled and she could face Burke without revealing anything but a calm, disciplined spirit. “Perhaps you would give us a tour of the ranch after breakfast.” She rushed on before he could say anything. “I need to familiarize Meggie with her new home and teach her safe boundaries. As well, it would give you two a chance to get to know each other.”

  “Not a problem.” He seemed unconcerned, as if this day was like any other. Hadn’t he felt any of the emotions she had at Mac’s prayer?

  Of course, he hadn’t. Why should she expect he would? He’d made no secret of what he wanted—her to be gone as soon as possible. Only she was foolish enough to want something more—something completely out of her reach.

  She resolutely pushed aside a dying dream of adventure, excitement—why should she long so for things she couldn’t have? It was this country. The open spaces grabbed her heart and wrenched out her childish dreams, pouring them into the sunshine like a stream of golden honey. When she returned home, she would realize how foolish all this was. “I’ll help Paquette clean the kitchen first.”

  “Fine. Come outside when you’re ready and I’ll meet you.”

  It was all Burke could do to walk calmly from the house, the men at his heels. Everything in him wanted to race away from the warmth of the kitchen and the snarl of his thoughts. Mac’s prayer had almost been his undoing—God’s blessing, children’s children? Where was God’s blessing in Burke’s life? He certainly hadn’t seen any evidence of it. First, the fiasco with Flora and now Lena dead.

  His gaze had rested on Jenny. Something about her made him remember his big dreams of a short time ago—home, blessings, family.

  He shifted his gaze to Meggie. This was his family. He supposed that was a blessing from God. Yes, of course it was. Only somehow it didn’t satisfy.

  “Where’s the fire, boss?” Lucky asked.

  Burke realized how fast his steps had become and slowed. “No fire.”

  “Maybe anxious to get back to that little gal?” Mac’s teasing always sounded so serious that many took offense.

  Purposely misunderstanding, Burke said, “I’ll need to spend some time with Meggie getting to know her so she’ll be happy here.” He pretended he didn’t notice the sly glances the men exchanged. Every one of them knew Mac hadn’t meant Meggie. It didn’t matter. They’d soon enough realize Jenny and he would part ways. He ignored the ache twisting through his gut at the knowledge. “Dug, you ride out and bring in the rest of the horses. We need to get them broke before fall round up. Mac, check the pasture to the north. Lucky, see if there’s any hay to cut south of here.”

  He strode to the barn, leaving the men to follow his orders. In the dark interior he could think of nothing he came for. The cow was out grazing, the cats had finished their milk and sat washing themselves in patches of sunlight.

  “Jenny’s waiting for you,” Lucky called, his voice carefully neutral but Burke heard the men chuckling before they dispersed. Let them get as much fun out of this as they could. Not that he could stop them if he tried.

  He scrubbed his hands on the thighs of his jeans and adjusted his hat then strode toward the house. This was only about Meggie. He needed to keep reminding himself.

  He paused at the bottom of the steps and carefully kept his ga
ze on his niece. “What would you like to see first? The cats or the horses?” The mounts in the nearby corrals were used to people and posed no danger.

  “Kitties?” Meggie sounded cautiously eager.

  “Scads of ’em. Come along.” He straightened and finally allowed himself to face Jenny. Her eager expression almost undid all his harsh self-talk. Oh to see that eagerness every morning, to share it about the ranch. Whoa. Stop right there. This was about Meggie, not him.

  He stepped aside and waited for Jenny to descend. Meggie skipped along at their side as they headed for the barn.

  “Tell me about your ranch,” Jenny said.

  Her words caught him off guard, left him struggling to find an answer. “We raise cows and horses,” he said tentatively, not knowing if she wanted any more information.

  “Your animals range free?”

  “To some extent. Most of the ranchers let the animals roam, but with more and more settlers things are changing.” He had his own ideas of how things should be done. “Most ranchers let their animals graze during the winter, too, but I think it’s too risky.”

  “Why?”

  Her eyes brimmed with interest and he willingly told her how he considered the risks of having them unable to find enough to eat if they should get a lot of snow. “Cows can’t dig through the snow like horses or buffalo. I prefer to contain them closer to home and have hay ready to take out if there’s a need.”

  “That’s very forward thinking of you. How do the other ranchers react?”

  How did she guess there were mixed feelings about the way he did things? “Some think I’m overly cautious. Survival of the fittest, they say, produces the strongest cows.”

  “I suppose there’s something to be said for that, but still, cows are not created to survive certain elements.”

  He realized they had stopped walking and stood talking intently. For his part, he was lost in the interest and knowledge she showed.

  Meggie had paused to examine a bug crossing their path.

  “Let’s see if the kitties are still around.”

  They reached the barn. Most of the cats had disappeared but the old mama cat still lay in the sun, enjoying her rest from her newly weaned kittens. This old cat was the tamest of the bunch, having been around since Burke first arrived, and having learned humans meant warm milk and a gentle rub behind her ears.

  “Go slow, little Meg,” he warned.

  Meggie, who’d been about to pounce on the unsuspecting cat, stopped.

  Jenny caught Meggie’s hand and knelt at her side. “Let her get used to us first. After all, we’re brand new here.”

  Good advice for befriending both human and animal.

  Jenny held her hand out to the cat and called softly.

  Old mama meowed but didn’t move.

  “She’s lazy. Or maybe wore out. Just raised a bunch of kittens.”

  “Kitties?” Meggie looked around expectantly.

  Burke laughed. “Three of them went to neighbors. The other two are wild. You wouldn’t want to hold them.” He wished now that there were tiny kittens available but he knew of none.

  Meggie turned back to the mama kitty. Squatting down she jiggled forward in a funny little frog walk.

  Burke grinned.

  Meggie reached the cat and touched it with one finger. The cat meowed and purred, obviously glad for the attention.

  Meggie plunked to her bottom and the cat wrapped paws about her leg. The little one giggled. Soon the two were busy being friends.

  Jenny stood back at Burke’s side. “This is good for her. There’s something about pets that eases sorrow.”

  “Maybe I should get myself a new dog.” He wanted to groan at the way he sounded, as if he had so much sorrow to deal with.

  “I thought it strange there was no dog. Don’t all ranches have one?”

  “Mine died a few months ago.”

  “I’m sorry. How’d it happen?”

  “Don’t know. Just found him dead one morning.” Suddenly he remembered things he’d ignored. Old Boy had gone missing after one of Flora’s visits. They found him dead out past the barn a day later. He looked a little beat up. They’d suspected coyotes. But knowing what he did about Flora now, he wondered—

  Nah. She would never hurt the dog. Had no reason to.

  “We lost a dog when I was about twelve. He and I were best friends. I told him all my secrets. Never loved another quite so much.” She gave a little laugh. “Guess I outgrew pet friends.”

  He wanted to ask what kind of friends she had now. Was there a special someone in her life? But her life was none of his business. They would soon say their good-byes and never see each other again. He would not acknowledge any discomfort at the idea.

  Something caught the cat’s attention and she raced off, leaving Meggie teary eyed.

  He reached for her hand. “Let’s go see the horses.”

  Meggie studied the outreached hand for several seconds then slipped hers into his. So small. So soft. Made him feel ten feet tall that she trusted him enough to do this.

  Jenny, at his other side, touched his arm, sending jolts of warmth to his heart. He could get used to this—a child at one side, a woman at the other. He ground his teeth at such foolishness.

  “This is a big step for her,” Jenny whispered.

  “I know.” Surely the hoarseness of his voice was due to the fact Meggie had taken his hand, not because Jenny had touched him. But deep in the recesses of his mind he couldn’t deny one meant as much as the other.

  He led them from the barn to the pasture fence and whistled. The half dozen horses still at home lifted their heads and trotted toward him.

  “Me touch,” Meggie begged as the horses crowded around.

  “I’ll lift you.” She made no protest as he did, and love for this little gal filled him. He wanted to hug her but didn’t for fear of frightening her. He felt Jenny watching him and met her gaze. Her eyes filled with warmth and love—for Meggie, of course. But something real and alive passed between them, a mixture of pleasure and pain. He didn’t try and sort out the source of each but the reasons came anyway. Pleasure at sharing love of this tiny child, pain at knowing he would only share it with Jenny for a short time.

  Jenny jerked away first, a pink color blushing her cheeks. She reached out a hand and touched each of the horses, stroking their heads, scratching behind their ears, giving them equal attention as she murmured sweet nothings to them.

  At least she wasn’t afraid of them nor did she complain about how they smelled. He used to tell Flora they smelled like horses. What did she expect?

  One of the horses tried to nibble Meggie’s hair. Meg squealed and buried her face against Burke’s chest. Love roared through him. He would do everything in his power to protect this child.

  Meggie realized what she’d done and squirmed to be put down.

  Burke released her. Afraid his emotions would be blaring from his eyes, he wouldn’t look at Jenny to see if she’d noticed. Instead, he turned toward the alley. “Do you want to see the rest of the buildings?”

  “I want to see everything.” She sounded so eager that he stole a glance at her. Her eyes shone, a smile wreathed her face. Suddenly she sobered. “Meggie needs to become familiar with her surroundings.” She stared toward the outbuildings

  He nodded. It was all about Meggie. He needed no reminder. Yet her words left him feeling strangely hollow.

  Chapter Five

  Jenny wanted to stuff a rag into her mouth. She’d revealed far too much eagerness. Allowed herself too much interest in the ranch. In the man who owned the ranch.

  With firm determination she forced her thoughts back to her purpose—settling Meggie. She needed to find out about the fiancée and encourage Burke to go ahead with his plans so Meggie would have a suitable home.

  But they arrived at a long low building—the bunkhouse.

  “I should show Meggie the inside.”

  Jenny wondered at the hesitation in Bu
rke’s voice. She was curious to see Burke’s quarters—where the men lived, she corrected herself. “I’d like to see, too.”

  Burke hesitated. “I warn you, it’s the home of a bunch of cowboys.”

  “What do you mean?” She pictured beds covered with brightly colored blankets, saddles at the end of each bed, bridles hung from hooks on the wall between them. Likely a stove in the middle of the room with a table nearby and chairs circling it.

  A slow release grin started and made its way across his mouth and deep into her heart. The man had a smile to melt every one of her good intentions. “I guess I’ll let you discover for yourself.” He opened the door and waved her in.

  “Come and see where Uncle Burke sleeps, Meggie.” Holding the little girl’s hand made Jenny feel less like she’d entered forbidden territory.

  The first thing she noticed was the mess. No colorful blankets—only tangled bedcovers. No saddles. No neatly hung bridles. Instead a jumble of tools and ropes as if things had been tossed aside and forgotten.

  The second thing to hit her senses was the smell. It was all she could do to keep from gasping. She tried to control her breathing but couldn’t contain a cough.

  Burke chuckled. “Some of the men are so familiar with the smell of animals they claim they can’t sleep without it.”

  “I’m surprised they can sleep in here. Period.” Jenny could have bitten her tongue. When would she learn to keep her thoughts to herself?

  Burke shrugged. “I guess you get used to it.”

  She spun on him, her vow of self-control forgotten. Again. “Do you enjoy these conditions?”

  His eyes grew wary. “I tolerate them.”

  “Why do you sleep here when you have a perfectly good house?”

  “You and Meg are in one bedroom.”

  “Oh come on. No one has slept in there for ages.” There was another room across the hall. She hadn’t opened the door, expecting the same disarray.

  “It’s only been a few months.”

  “Really. I’d have said at least two years.” Her curiosity raged. “Why did you move out?”