Jake's Honor (Cowboys 0f Coulee Crossing; Romancing The West Book 1) Read online

  He could see Levi grinning and noted the flash in Cash’s eyes. Blaze looked completely indifferent, but Jake knew he took in everything.

  “Pa’s plan. He wanted an extra room in case we needed a housekeeper or had guests. You’re the first.”

  “I’m honored.”

  He couldn’t tell if she was sincere or sarcastic.

  “I think your father would be proud. The man who drove me out said you are all good operators. He said, ‘They’s both savvy and kind.’ I expect that is high praise from him.”

  Jake joined the others in chuckling about Ike’s remarks. Reluctantly, he allowed that he found Connie’s praise pleasing as well.

  Levi slapped his knee. “You got old Ike’s voice down to a T.”

  Connie grinned.

  They spent the next hour telling Connie about the residents of Willow Creek and the neighbors in the community.

  Audrey rolled up the darning and set the basket aside. “It’s getting late. I expect Connie is tired after all her travels.” She pushed to her feet. “I’ll fill your jug with warm water.” She dipped water from the reservoir of the stove, poured it into the fancy, flowered china jug that she had insisted on purchasing. The matching basin stood on the washstand in the bedroom.

  Murmurings thanks, Connie took the jug and went to the room.

  Jake got slowly to his feet and followed his brothers down the hall.

  “Good night, Blaze,” Audrey said. “Good night, Cash. Good night, Levi.” They all murmured their good nights.

  Normally she went in order of their age but this time, she’d left out Jake.

  He stopped at his doorway. “Didn’t you forget someone?”

  “Not for a moment. Be very sure you know what you’re doing before you make any decisions. Good night, Jake.” She closed the door, leaving him staring.

  Be sure of what? What decision could she possibly mean? He and Connie were agreed on the course of action they were to take.

  He listened to the rain pounding on the roof. They wouldn’t be able to leave until this ended. Maybe it would stop during the night. Tomorrow to dry up and then the next day they could leave.

  Despite what his brothers thought, he’d found himself watching little Megan and thinking how much fun it would be to have a little one around the place.

  Nonsense. He did not need any complications in his life.

  He stepped into his bedroom and closed the door. Until they moved here, he’d always shared a room with one or more of his brothers, but Pa had insisted each of his sons needed their own space when they moved out here. ‘You’re full-grown men now. You’ll find you have full-grown men problems to deal with and being alone will allow you to think and pray. Never forget how I’ve taught you to go to God and His word for answers.’

  Life had gotten busy and Jake had settled into a routine of getting up early and jumping into the day then falling into bed so weary he didn’t take time for anything like Bible reading.

  Sorry, Pa. I guess I forgot. No time like the present to correct the matter. He lit the lamp and opened his Bible. Audrey had made sure each of the brothers had a copy in his room. Said their mother would want it.

  So, he’d disappointed his ma as well as his pa. And likely Audrey too. Well, he meant to change that right now.

  He saw a bookmark and opened to that page. It was Proverbs. Good. Pithy little sayings that surely wouldn’t condemn him for his many oversights. His eyes fell to Proverbs chapter sixteen. When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him. Well, he had no enemies that he knew of, but he had people who weren’t at peace with him. Namely Connie.

  And himself.

  He blinked at his acknowledgment and slowly closed the Bible.

  He shucked out of his clothes and crawled under the covers. But sleep did not come.

  Making his enemies be at peace with him. The words hovered in his mind. Mocking him.

  4

  Connie wakened the next morning to Megan fussing and sprang from the bed before the baby could get upset. She scooped her up, quickly changed her into a little blue dress for the day and handed her a little rag doll to chew on while Connie got herself ready for the morning. She’d slept surprisingly well. No troubled thoughts about her future. Somehow, she would figure it all out. With God’s help, though she’d expected it to come in the shape of Jake accepting Megan as his daughter. He was adamant that wasn’t possible, so she had no choice but to move on.

  A glance out the window revealed the rain had stopped and the sun shone, reflecting off puddles in the yard and drops of moisture on each blade of grass and leaf. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  She stepped into the hall just as a door a few steps from hers opened and Jake emerged.

  “Good morning,” she said.

  “Too early to tell.”

  She chuckled at his answer. “Don’t you think we have a say in what it will be?”

  “I find I have little control over most things in my life.”

  “That’s true when you talk about circumstances. I think we’ve all experienced that. But we have complete control over our attitude.”

  “Huh.”

  She couldn’t tell if he meant agreement, disagreement, or I don’t care. She shifted Megan to her hip. “Like it says in the Bible, ‘A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.’ One might say, it dries up the heart.” She paused before they reached the kitchen. “I’m sorry. I don’t usually go around quoting Bible verses to people. It’s just—” She shrugged.

  “It’s just what?”

  She brought her gaze to his. In the dimness of the hallway, his blue eyes seemed to catch and hold the light. She widened her eyes to keep from turning away.

  “Just what?” he persisted.

  She forced her brain to work. “Well, things aren’t going at all like I expected they would. I find myself without home, job, or family. It leaves me throwing myself into God’s arms and trusting Him to care for me.” The words came out in a rush. Words she hadn’t known she’d speak, but once they were out, she knew them to be true. She had no one but God to help her. “I trust He will provide my every need.”

  Megan pulled her fingers from her mouth and swung her rag doll toward Jake. She leaned toward him.

  “She wants you to hold her.”

  “Me?”

  “She doesn’t bite. Doesn’t even have teeth yet. But I warn you, she does drool.”

  Levi came up behind them. “Jake, don’t be so clueless. Take the baby.”

  Jake put her hands under Megan’s arms and lifted her, holding her out. Megan chortled and leaned toward him.

  “Hold her,” Levi said, and Jake drew her to his chest.

  Megan grabbed a button on his shirt and said something completely unintelligible.

  “What did she say?” he asked.

  “Your guess is as good as mine.” Connie led the way into the kitchen and hurried over to help Audrey, leaving Megan with Jake. She watched him out of the corner of her eyes, making sure Megan was safe.

  Levi watched from over Jake’s shoulder.

  Audrey chuckled softly. “He’s not used to babies, but he’s good with young animals, so I’m sure he’ll do just fine.”

  Connie turned away as disappointment and frustration rushed through her. Jake didn’t want to be a father. If he’d believed the child was his, things might be different, but he was so certain it wasn’t that she had to believe he had acted honorably toward Celia. Which raised the question: Why did Celia name him as the father if he wasn’t? And who was the father, and where was he? Only Celia could have provided those answers. Perhaps Connie would never know. Besides, knowing wouldn’t change her present circumstances.

  She tended the frying pork while Audrey took cups of coffee to the men. Jake looked from the table to the little girl in his arms as if he didn’t know if he should or could sit and enjoy the brew. Finally, he sat.

  Connie wa
s about to warn him of the hot liquid when Audrey pushed the cup away from Megan’s grasp. “Wouldn’t want her to pull that over on herself.”

  Jake shoved his chair back, looking like he meant to drop Megan.

  Levi stopped him. “She just wants to sit on your knee and get a little attention.” He leaned closer to Megan and tickled her chin. “Isn’t that right, little bitty baby?”

  Megan rewarded him with her giggle.

  Connie took plates from the cupboard and began to set the table, reaching around the men to do so. Seeing the dishes, she knew meant food, Megan cried, stiffening herself. Connie knew from experience how she could throw herself backwards. She took the squalling child before that could happen.

  “I’ll feed her.” She didn’t wait for permission but filled a bowl and fed the baby while Audrey served up the food. Megan was done by the time grace had been said, and Connie gave her a piece of toast and sat her on the floor.

  Bowser edged closer. Connie didn’t know if he would steal the toast from Megan and shooed him away.

  “Levi, put Bowser outside,” Audrey said.

  “But Sis, he’ll get all muddy.”

  “Then he’ll have to stay outside, won’t he?”

  Levi didn’t move and disregarded Audrey’s demanding look. The other brothers pretended a great interest in their food, ignoring the silent struggle between their sister and youngest brother.

  Audrey pushed back, got to her feet, and marched to the door. She opened it. “Bowser, out.”

  The dog pressed to Levi’s knee.

  “Bowser, do I need to get the broom?” Even if the dog didn’t understand the words, he couldn’t mistake the tone, and he slunk to the door, paused to give her a wounded look, then stepped over the threshold.

  Audrey closed the door firmly.

  Connie’s eyes stung from trying to contain her amusement. She could no longer do so and laughed aloud, bringing five pairs of eyes to her. “It’s—” She waved her hand. “If you could see—” She couldn’t get an explanation out. She managed to stop the laughter, but it bubbled so close to the surface that she knew she couldn’t speak and turned her attention to her food.

  A little laugh escaped.

  “She doesn’t have to be so hard on the dog.” Levi’s wounded tone tickled Connie. Having no wish to offend this family, she clamped her teeth together.

  “You think you only have to smile, and I’ll ignore all your naughtiness.”

  Levi bristled. “Naughtiness? What am I? Ten?”

  “You act like it sometimes,” Cash said.

  “You’ve always been the spoiled one,” Blaze added.

  Jake tipped his head back and roared with laughter.

  His siblings stared at him.

  “Care to explain the joke?” Blaze spoke softly.

  Jake stopped laughing, but a wide grin and flashing eyes revealed how close to the surface his amusement lay. “No wonder Connie laughed. It’s like watching a circus to see us going at each other.” He turned to Connie, his eyes brimming with humor. His smile about made her forget she meant to be annoyed with him. Or at least anxious to be out of his company.

  One by one the others laughed in admission of how silly they must look to someone outside the family.

  “It’s nice to see that you are all fond of each other.” She hoped her words would make them see she wasn’t mocking them. Feeling she needed to explain, she continued, “I grew up an only child. Our home was very quiet and subdued. My mother didn’t like me to make a fuss of any sort.” The loneliness of those days hit her. The feeling of always being a nuisance surfaced though she had long ago pushed it to the back of her mind. Lest they begin to feel sorry for her, she rushed on. “Things were different at Celia’s home. They doted on her. She laughed and sang and ran through the house. Her father played games with her and included me. Her mother hugged her and kissed her and me.” Her voice caught. “I miss her so much.”

  Silence followed her words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say all that.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” Audrey said. “We know what it’s like to miss someone.”

  The four brothers nodded.

  “We miss our ma and our pa,” Jake said.

  “Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring a pall to the meal.” She ducked her head.

  Jake placed his hand on her forearm. “Our sadness is tempered by the fact we have each other. I think yours is tempered by the presence of that little one.”

  Megan shuffled to Connie’s chair and pulled herself to her feet, smiling up at her aunt.

  Connie chuckled. “That is indeed the truth.” She picked up the baby and met Jake’s eyes over the fuzzy blonde hair. “Maybe I should thank you for not wanting her. It means I can keep her.” She pressed her cheek to the warm, little head.

  Jake studied Megan. “She is very much like Celia.”

  “Yes, she is.” A dozen questions came to her mind. What had happened between him and Celia?

  Blaze pushed his chair back. “Boys, it’s time to get to work. Levi and I will go out and check on the herd and see how the cowboys fared. Jake and Cash, why don’t you clean the saddles and mend the harnesses? I see a few need repair.”

  The men donned jackets and cowboy hats and strode from the house.

  Connie felt like the air had been sucked from the room.

  Audrey guessed at her reaction to the sudden emptiness. “It’s like a tornado comes and goes with them.”

  Megan toddled over to the door and looked back at Connie.

  Audrey grinned. “She feels their leaving too. Why don’t you take her out to the porch to play?”

  “Good idea, but I’ll help clean the kitchen first.”

  “No need.”

  “I don’t mind.” In fact, it was rather enjoyable to visit with Audrey as they worked.

  “I admit Levi is spoiled,” Audrey said. “He was so young when his mother died—only seven. Of course, the others weren’t a lot older. Jake was nine. The other two were stair steps on either side of him. But Levi has always been more like a son than a brother. And he’s always so good natured.” Her laugh was short and mocking. “It’s easy to spoil him.”

  “How old were you when their mother died?”

  “Seventeen. I was working, hoping to attend college in the fall, when Pa sent for me because she was failing so fast. When she died, it was plain that I should take care of Pa and the boys.”

  “It was quite a sacrifice for you.”

  “No. She had loved me from the beginning. I was five when Pa married her. I loved her and I love the boys. It’s not a sacrifice when it’s done in love.”

  They both looked at Megan. “I agree,” Connie said.

  A little later she took Megan to the porch. Bowser trotted from the barn when he heard them. He padded back and forth on the edge of the porch, effectively keeping Megan from getting off. Megan didn’t mind in the least. She buried her fingers in Bowser’s fur and giggled.

  Connie sat on a chair; confident the baby was safe. She studied her surroundings. Such a pretty place. Levi came from the barn carrying a wooden contraption.

  Jake followed. They were obviously arguing. Jake grabbed Levi’s arm, but the younger man shook free and trotted over to the house. He set the half-barrel looking thing on the porch floor and trotted back, passing Jake, who turned and followed him. In a moment, Levi reappeared carrying a saddle. He brought it to the house and put it on the wooden stand. He pulled a tin and some rags from his pockets.

  “Jake is going to clean this saddle and keep you company.”

  Jake’s expression made it obvious he objected to the arrangement.

  “I don’t need to be entertained.” Especially by someone reluctant to do so.

  “Well, I don’t want him grumping around me.” Levi strode away, giving Jake a tap on his shoulder as they passed.

  * * *

  Jake considered his options. He could ignore the saddle and go back to the barn where he would hav
e to put up with Levi’s constant string of comments. Or he could go to the porch and clean the saddle. Given those options, he decided to go to the porch.

  “I was not being grumpy,” he said for the sake of anyone who listened. Audrey had seen what was going on and brought out a little bucket of water. Jake worked up a lather and brushed it over the saddle.

  “I never said you were.” Audrey made it sound like he was being overly defensive.

  “Huh.”

  Megan toddled over and plunked down beside the saddle rack. She peeked underneath it. Bowser looked back at her, setting the child into a fit of giggles. She played peek-a-boo with the dog.

  Jake stopped work to watch. He grinned. It was a pleasure to watch her play. “She’s a happy thing.”

  “Like you said, she’s very much like her mother.”

  He leaned back on his heels. He’d tried not to think of Celia the past year and a half, but now he was faced with such a strong reminder. “Was she seeing someone else before she left?”

  “I told you, not that I know of.”

  “Did she mention any other man when you went to her before…?” It didn’t seem possible that she was gone.

  “Before she died? No. The only man she mentioned was you.”

  “Huh.”

  Bowser had figured out the game and barked every time Megan peeked under the saddle at him. Each time Megan sat back and giggled.

  Jake sat on a chair, content to watch the pair play.

  “Jake, can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.” He didn’t take his attention from the dog and the baby.

  “What happened between you and Celia? I thought she was seeing you, but then she suddenly decided to go visit her grandmother. I was so hurt because she didn’t tell me what she was doing. Her mother returned a few weeks later, but Celia never came back. Oh, she wrote to me, but the letters made her seem even farther away. I’d like to understand what happened.”

  “Isn’t it obvious? She’d been seeing someone else and let things go too far. She left to hide the truth from her friends.”

  “But why wasn’t she still seeing you? Why did she lead me to think she was even when I went to her?”